New Rhythms

Time passes with a salsa beat -- quick, quick slow. The Z-Baby is now three months going on four, with neck control and a penchant for grabbing things. She has one new cousin, a girl. Her other cousin is now in New Jersey, transplanted from Texas. Quick, quick, slow.

The quick moments whirl around, keeping me on my toes in the dance. It's in the slow moments that I stop, catch my breath, and take a moment to be grateful for my life. Take a moment to pause, marveling at the sweetness of my baby's laugh, the wonderment of her easy smile.

I can hardly wait for her to get older, to see her walk and talk and sleep. Yet I know when those days come I will miss these days, when she cooed at me from my lap, when she fed at 3 a.m., nose buried in breast.

The bittersweet center of parenting is that you wish things would change, that quickly, quickly your child would sleep, would pass the age of SIDS danger, would hold her head up. Then, when it happens, as it happens, you wish your child would stay the same, would slow down, would stay your baby even as you see her down the path to eventual toddlerhood.

Three Months

... that's how long it's been since the Z-Baby was born. I thought by now we might have a schedule. I thought by now, I would be writing again. I thought.... Well, in the spirit of the Mama Zen book given to me by Mary, I think I thought too much. Motherhood seems to be about letting go of any conception you have, besides the conception that is the baby.

Not a complaint, just an observation. I'm a lucky woman with a privileged life. I have a baby who is bright and smiley and sleeps between 4 and 6 hours depending on the night. For a little one as young as she, that's a full night's sleep.

I usually get between 3 and 5 of those hours myself, plus another 1 or 2 when she goes down at 2:30 to 5:30 a.m. I'm not a morning person, but by 6:30 most mornings, I'm feeding Z again.

In case the sleep portion leads you to think I have a miracle perfect child, I should mention the 30-minute crying session that happens every morning around 8 a.m., right before she sleeps. Norman the cat now joins in, as he sees it as a possible route to attention.

And then there's the daytime naps themselves, which are either almost nonexistent (20 minutes or less), or only last longer if the Z-Baby is sleeping on mama. I have seen so much closed captioned Food Channel while she sleeps that I have their schedule almost memorized. Next week I'm going to try to help her out of this habit. This week, we set the bedtime routine (which so far she is totally OK with).

I never thought I'd be making choices like: should I take a shower tonight or face not getting one tomorrow or should I try to take time to write my blog post or go straight to bed at 10 p.m.? I haven't really taken an afternoon off from Z yet, though I did make a doctor's appointment and a trip to the farmer's market without her last week. This weekend, we're committed to giving me at least a few hours. To be honest, I know all I'll want to do is sleep.

In two weeks, the darling husband is free to watch the baby a few days a week. Then I will be back to writing. At least that's the plan.

Come On Baby...

Let's do the twist. That's right, I'm at A Twist of Taste again. I meant to have an in-between post at One Page, but the Z-Baby came down with a virus that meant a lot of time spent as baby furniture. I'll be back next week. Meanwhile, this week's recipe is Cumin-Scented Apple Crisp.

A Twisty Week

This week, I'm at my new blog, A Twist of Taste.

I've decided two blogs every week is a bit much with a newborn, so I will be trading off between One Page and Twist.

This week's Twist recipe is Shell Salad.

Enjoy!